No. 1 – The Lanecruiser
From a distance usually appears black, closer inspection reveals an illuminated crest and may sport advertising plumage in a variety of patterns and colourations.
Stretches of road with a reserved bus, cycle and (inexplicably) taxi lane or, where preferred areas cannot be found, will settle for an on-road cycle lane
Most active during the early rush hour, the lanecruiser inhabits the middle of the carriageway to stake a claim to the full use of both lanes. Intolerant of other traffic it weaves and out of any obstructions, preferring not to use its indicator lights as these have been found to lead other road users into assuming that the lanecruiser is going to pick a lane and drive in it. When confronted with a cyclist, will pass as closely as possible.
Song is a high-revving and vocal diesel often accompanied by Talksport FM. Warning call of horn tooting followed by a rapid cursing.